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there are many things i love about australia,
but one of my particular penchants is for the
curious monuments and other markers that litter
the country. the 'colonisation' of oz happened
just over 200 years old - a mere blip on the grandfather
clock of time. there's therefore not much in the
way of 'historical tourism' to see when travelling
the country (as robyn and i did for the last couple
of weeks - through southern new south wales and
victoria). of course, the scenery is magnificent
- beautiful bush and mountain country, sitting
side by side. but with little in the way of contemporary
history to draw the tourist crowds, australia
has invented some fantastic monuments that historify
the country in a way that is wonderfully bizarre.
here's a few exhibits:
'the big marino', 3 hours south of sydney. no
other sheep to be seen.
this submarine commemorates the town's
involvement in WWII. however, the town is over
200km away from any coastline. i have no idea
how the sub made the cross-country journey.
one of my favourites - 'dog on the tuckerbox'.
the story goes that a farmer was travelling with
a herd of cattle that got trapped in some mud.
the farmer struggled to get the flock clear and
onto dry land, while his dog sat idly by - sitting
on top of the farmer's lunchbox (aka 'tuckerbox').
not only did the dog fail to help the farmer round
up the cattle and prevent him from eating his
lunch by sitting on it, legend has it that the
dog also crapped on the lunchbox too. and for
this they build a statue - truly inspired!
self explanatory - a larger than life
ned kelly in the town where he was captured. no
wonder he was captured there, there's so little
to do in the town he probably caved in with the
weight of the numbing boredom.
from an earlier trip last year (albeit with same
aphex shirt as above), i give you 'the big oyster'
(which is now also a car showroom...) -
and this wonderful reproduction of 'ayer's rock',
if you can't get to the real thing ...
i'm also a fan of comedy signs. it's cheap, i
know, but you've got to love them. like this one
- which i think means, 'do not spank the koalas'...
and finally, always check under your car for small
penguins.
here endeth the tour :-)
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060305
i was sorry to hear this week that glasgow
singer / songwriter, edwyn collins, is seriously
ill after suffering a brain haemorrhage. after
being hospitalised for the last two weeks, it
does seem that he's 'on the mend', although his
wife says that 'it's still early days'.
as founder of orange juice, edwyn
was responsible for the 1983 tune 'rip it up',
which remains one of the best pop songs to have
ever come out of glasgow. as a solo artist, he
struck gold with 'a girl like you' which seemingly
appeared on every ad and tv promo for a good few
months back in 1995. edwyn also sticks in mind
due to the fact that he was (to coin a 'little
britain' phrase) 'the only pop star in the village'.
orange juice kicked about the same town as i did.
as a wee teenager, i was in awe of the fact that
someone from round the corner could actually be
on 'top of the pops'. his band mate called our
town (bearsden) a 'middle class suburb' and he's
not wrong. such suburbs are a rarity in glasgow
and i've always been told that the way not to
get beaten up was to never reveal your non-working
class roots. so it goes...
that aside, i found a great history written by
edwyn on his web site today where he talks about
the glasgow scene back in the early days:
"In
1976 I’d bought a pair of plastic sandals,
sunglasses and a sixties jacket. I went down to
the precinct in Argyll Street and everyone looked
at me and laughed. I quite liked that. I started
wearing straight trousers in earnest. There was
a disco in Sauchiehall Street called Shuffles
and the people who were into soul were wearing
straight trousers too.The biggest group in Glasgow
then was Roxy Music. These people were, and still
may be , called poser neds. The archetypal poser
ned group was Simple Minds. They might affect
a certain effete quality, but if it came to the
crunch they would kick your head in."
more
news on edwyn's illness
official
edwyn site
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050305
we're moving house next weekend, and
amidst the joy of unpacking drawers in order to
pack boxes, i came across another couple of pictures
from the 'ken' era. i think they'll conclusively
prove that i was both impossibly cute and full
of attitude back in 1990 :-)
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